Think Suicide !?!?!

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1.         You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2.         Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3.         People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4.         Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them.

But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5.         Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.

Now : I’d like you to call someone…

And while you’re at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.

Additional things to read at this site:

    *       How serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.

    *       Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

    *       Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.

    *       The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.

    *       Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Do you know someone who is suicidal, or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? Learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.

    *       Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.

    *       What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.

Other online sources of help:

    *       The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.

    *       Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.

    *       Depression support group online: Walkers in Darkness - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter (and occasional bickering), it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.

    *       Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide and other mental health needs.

    *       Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.

    *       If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.

Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

    *       Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, $8.95, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book

    *       Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD&Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, $12.95, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book

    *       How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, $17.47, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book

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Expressing Anger May Protect Against Stroke And Heart Disease

Men who outwardly express anger at least some of the time may be doing their health a favor: A new study suggests that occasional anger expression is associated with decreased risk of stroke and coronary heart disease

Men with moderate levels of anger expression had nearly half the risk of nonfatal heart attacks and a significant reduction in the risk of stroke compared to men with low levels of anger expression. In the case of stroke, the researchers found that the risk decreased in proportion to increasing levels of anger expression.

The findings indicate “a more complex pattern of associations between anger and cardiovascular disease than previously described,” according to Patricia Eng, Sc.D., of the Harvard School of Public Health, and colleagues.

“Moderate anger expression seems to be protective against cardiovascular disease over a limited follow-up period,” Eng says.

Previous research suggests that chronic anger is related to the development of coronary disease, but few studies examine how different styles of expressing anger might impact the disease, according to the researchers.

The 23,522 study participants, men aged 50 to 85, completed surveys that asked them to rate how often they behaved in certain ways when they were angry, choosing from options like “I argue with others,” and “I do things like slam doors.” Eng and colleagues also documented 328 cases of cardiovascular disease among the men in the two years following the survey.

Among healthy men with no prior history of cardiovascular disease, the protective effects of anger expression were unrelated to how often the men reported feeling angry. Among men who already had heart disease, however, an increased frequency of angry feelings was significantly associated with an increased risk of another bout of heart disease.

The study participants had low levels of anger expression compared to other groups who had taken the survey previously, possibly due to their age and relatively high socioeconomic status, say the researchers.

Individuals with high socioeconomic status are more likely to lead healthier lifestyles and to be in positions of power where they can express anger freely, which may modify any “potentially toxic effects of anger or hostility,” Eng says.

The study is published in the January/February issue of Psychosomatic Medicine and supported by grants from the National Institutes of Health.

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Controlling Our Brain's Perception Of Emotional Events

Research performed by Nicole Lauzon and Dr. Steven Laviolette of the Schulich School of Medicine & Dentistry at The University of Western Ontario has found key processes in the brain that control the emotional significance of our experiences and how we form memories of them.

A lack of proper brain function in this area is what lies beneath such conditions as Schizophrenia and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  In people who suffer from these conditions emotional experiences can become distorted, causing the person to ‘lose touch’ with reality.

Lauzon, a Doctoral graduate student in the Laviolette laboratory, discovered that specific receptors for the neurotransmitter dopamine can control how the brain processes emotionally significant information as well as memories for those experiences. Using a rodent model of emotional learning and memory formation, the researchers found by increasing the activity of a specific dopamine receptor in a region of the brain called the pre-frontal cortex, it was able to transform a normally insignificant emotional experience into a very strong emotional memory. In contrast, when a different subtype of the dopamine system was activated, it was able to block the ability to recall an emotionally charged experience.

“Our findings have profound implications for understanding how specific brain receptors can control the magnitude of emotional experience and memory formation,” says Laviolette.

“Targeting these receptor systems pharmacologically may offer new therapeutic treatments for controlling the emotional perception and memory deficits observed in psychiatric disorders such as Schizophrenia and PTSD.” Laviolette is a professor in the Department of Anatomy & Cell Biology and a National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression (NARSAD) Young Investigator.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 280,000 Canadians suffer from Schizophrenia, and approximately 51 million people worldwide.

About eight per cent of the population will have PTSD symptoms at some point in their lives according to the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in the United States.

The research was funded by NARSAD, the Ontario Mental Health Foundation and the National Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada (NSERC).

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Neuroscientists Identify How Trauma Triggers Long-lasting Memories In The Brain

A research team led by UC Irvine neuroscientists has identified how the brain processes and stores emotional experiences as long-term memories. The research, performed on rats, could help neuroscientists better understand why emotionally arousing events are remembered over longer periods than emotionally neutral events, and may ultimately find application in treatments for conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder.

The study shows that emotionally arousing events activate the brain's amygdala, the almond-shaped portion of the brain involved in emotional learning and memory, which then increases a protein called "Arc" in the neurons in the hippocampus, a part of the brain involved in processing and enabling the storage of lasting memories. The researchers believe that Arc helps store these memories by strengthening the synapses, the connections between neurons.

The study will appear in today's issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"Emotionally neutral events generally are not stored as long-term memories," said Christa McIntyre, the first author of the paper and a postdoctoral researcher in the Department of Neurobiology and Behavior in UCI's School of Biological Sciences, working with James L. McGaugh, research professor and a fellow at the Center for the Neurobiology of Learning and Memory. "On the other hand, emotionally arousing events, such as those of September 11, tend to be well-remembered after a single experience because they activate the amygdala."

In their experiments, the researchers placed a group of rats in a well-lit compartment with access to an adjacent dark compartment. Because rats are nocturnal and prefer dark environments, they tended to enter the dark compartment. Upon doing so, however, they were each given a mild foot-shock -- an emotional experience that, by itself, was not strong enough to become a long-lasting memory. Some of the rats then had their amygdala chemically stimulated in order to determine what role it played in forming a memory of the experience.

When they placed the rats that received both the mild foot-shock and the amygdala stimulation back in the well-lit compartment, the researchers found the rats tended to remain there, demonstrating a memory for the foot shock they had received in the dark compartment. These rats, the researchers found, also showed an increase in the amount of the Arc protein in the hippocampus. On the other hand, rats that received only the mild foot-shock and no amygdala stimulation showed no increase in Arc protein. When placed in the well-lit compartment, they tended to enter the dark compartment, suggesting they didn't remember the foot shock.

"In a separate experiment, we chemically inactivated the amygdala in rats very soon after they received a strong foot-shock," McIntyre said. "We found the increase in Arc was reduced and these rats showed poor memory for the foot shock despite its high intensity. This also shows that the amygdala is involved in forming a long-term memory."

The brain is extremely dynamic, McIntyre explained, with some genes in the brain, called "immediate early genes," changing after every experience. "We know the level of the immediate early gene that makes the Arc protein increases in the brain, simply in response to an exposure to a new environment," she said. "Our findings show that this gene makes more Arc protein in the hippocampus only if the experience is emotionally arousing or important enough to activate the amygdala and to be remembered days later."

The researchers were surprised to find no change in the gene that produced the Arc protein when the rat's amygdala was stimulated. "We weren't expecting the gene to be uncoupled from the Arc protein," McIntyre said. "We thought an activation of the amygdala would create more gene activation in the hippocampus. But we saw the same amount of the gene in the rats, regardless of the amygdala treatment. It was the Arc protein, created by the gene, that was different. This gives us new insight into the way lasting memories are stored."

The research was supported by several grants from the National Institutes of Health. In addition to McIntyre and McGaugh, co-authors of the study include Oswald Steward, UCI; Teiko Miyashita, Kristopher D. Marjon and John F. Guzowski, the University of New Mexico Health Science Center; and Barry Setlow, Texas A&M University.

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Bullies May Enjoy Seeing Others In Pain

Unusually aggressive youth may actually enjoy inflicting pain on others, research using brain scans at the University of Chicago shows.

Scans of the aggressive youth's brains showed that an area that is associated with rewards was highlighted when the youth watched a video clip of someone inflicting pain on another person. Youth without the unusually aggressive behavior did not have that response, the study showed.

"This is the first time that fMRI scans have been used to study situations that could otherwise provoke empathy," said Jean Decety, Professor in Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Chicago. "This work will help us better understand ways to work with juveniles inclined to aggression and violence."

Decety is an internationally recognized expert on empathy and social neuroscience. The new research shows that some aggressive youths' natural empathetic impulse may be disrupted in ways that increase aggression.

In the study, researchers compared eight 16- to 18-year-old boys with aggressive conduct disorder to a control group of adolescent boys with no unusual signs of aggression. The boys with the conduct disorder had exhibited disruptive behavior such as starting a fight, using a weapon and stealing after confronting a victim.

The youth were tested with fMRI while looking at video clips in which people endured pain accidentally, such as when a heavy bowl was dropped on their hands, and intentionally, such as when a person stepped on another's foot.

"The aggressive youth activated the neural circuits underpinning pain processing to the same extent, and in some cases, even more so than the control participants without conduct disorder," Decety said.

"Aggressive adolescents showed a specific and very strong activation of the amygdala and ventral striatum (an area that responds to feeling rewarded) when watching pain inflicted on others, which suggested that they enjoyed watching pain," he said. Unlike the control group, the youth with conduct disorder did not activate the area of the brain involved in self-regulation (the medial prefrontal cortex and the temporoparietal junction).

The control group acted similarly to youth in a study released earlier this year, in which Decety and his colleagues used fMRI scans to show 7- to 12-year-olds are naturally empathetic toward people in pain.

The scans showed that when the children saw animations of someone hurt accidentally, the same portion of the brain that registered pain when they are hurt also was highlighted upon seeing someone else hurt. When they saw someone intentionally hurt, the portion of the brain associated with understanding social interaction and moral reasoning was highlighted.

The National Science Foundation supported the work.

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knowing Biorhythms

The theory of "three biorhythms" is more than a hundred years old. Three scientists became the authors of this interesting idea: Herman Swoboda, Wilhelm Flis (who discovered emotional and physical biorhythms) and Fredric Telcher, who studied intellectual rhythm.

Psychologist Herman Swoboda and otologist Wilhelm Flis are considered to be "the grandfathers" of the theory of biorhythms. Independent from each other, they received the same results in their investigations. Such occurrences are very rare in science.

Swoboda worked in Vienna. Analyzing the behaviour of his patients this scientist observed that their thoughts, ideas, impulses to the actions and creative impulses recurred at a certain frequency. But Herman Swoboda went further and started to analyze the beginning and development of different illnesses. The scientist was especially interested in the periodicity of heart and asthmatic attacks. As the result of all his investigations the rhythm cycles of physical (22 days) and emotional (27 days) processes were discovered.

Doctor Wilhelm Flis lived in Berlin and studied the body's resistance to illnesses. Why do children with the same diagnoses have immunity one day, but the next day they die? Having gathered enough information about the beginning of illness, temperature and death, Flis connected it with birth data. Calculations showed that declines and increases in immunity may be predicted with the help of the 22-day physical and 27-day emotional biorhythms. Fridric Telcher, a teacher from Innsbruck (Austria), became the father of the theory of "three biorhythms". The new fashionable idea prompted the scientist to do his research. In his experiments Telcher noticed, that students' ability to perceive, systematize, use information and express new ideas can decline and increase from time to time. Thus this ability has rhythmical character. Having compared data about birthdays, days of exams and their results, Telcher discovered an intellectual rhythm, which lasts 32 days.

Telcher investigated creative people's lives and found out that the time between pulse beats of our intuition is 37 days, but during the course of time this rhythm was lost. It is difficult for every new research work to find its way to acceptance in the world. Though the founders of the three biorhythms idea received the same results in their work indendently, they had a lot of opponents and adversaries. Biorhythmic research spread in Europe, the USA and Japan. It became more intensive and popular in the computer era. In the 70's and 80's the idea of biorhythms conquered the whole world. The fashionable idea of biorhythms is passing by, but everything in nature has the power to repeat itself once again.

The theory of "three biorhythms" as well as all other ingenious things is very simple: we are influenced by intellectual, emotional and physical biorhythms from our birthday to our death. Let us be fair and return to the fourth rhythm which is called our intuitive rhythm.

The period of our intellectual rhythm is 32 days. Memory, ability to study, mental activities, clearness of thoughts and fantasy depend on it.

Our emotional rhythm lasts 27 days. It influences our feelings, mood, emotions and state of mind as well as our sensibility to the surrounding world and to the other people.

There are 22 days in the physical rhythm. It controls physical and sexual activity, force, speed, coordination and the body's resistance to illnesses and endurance.

The intuitive rhythm with its cycle of 37 days controls perception of beauty, creative inspiration and the reception apprehension of subconscious impulses, that is, intuition itself. It is also called spiritual rhythm.

The word rhythm originated from the Greek rheo and means the regular recurrence of events and processes as well as their regular declines and increases.

The simplest example of the rhythm cycles in everyday life are heartbeats and breathing. Our mental abilities, emotional and physical lives are not so stable. They have a periodic or wave-like character. The lowest point of decline is called the minimum, the highest point of increase is called the maximum. Both last only one day.

An intellectual minimum is characterized by a lowering of mental activity and poor memory. On such a day it is better to do simple mechanical work or to relax. Try to stay away from conducting negotiations, concluding treaties, or making important decisions.

An emotional minimum is characterized by the lack of desire, apathy, indifference and irritation (especially for women). This time is the worst for creative people and the most unfavourable for lovers.

A physical minimum causes tiredness, low physical and sexual activities and a heightened sensitivity to illnesses. On such a day you'd better stay away from hard physical work. It is not a good idea to drink an alcohol that day.

An intuitive minimum means no contact with God. Decisions, which were made intuitively, may turn out to be wrong. There is no inspiration for creative work.

The founder of biorhythmic cycles, Wilhelm Flis, characterized all minimums: "Some natural changes exist in the continuous stream of human existence. They are an entrance into a new life, illnesses or even into death. Our present and future being depends from our state in these crucial days."

Maximums give us a possibility to comprehend and realize our skills and talent. It is a period of intensive work.

Intellectual maximum is the time to solve difficult problems and even to create something new. It is advisable to make important decisions, conclude treaties and conduct negotiations.

An emotional maximum gives a sense of fullness of the life and a spiritual enthusiasm as well as a desire to act, to create and to love. However, a sharp feeling of disharmony exists at the same time.

A physical maximum is the best period for physical work, sexual activity and sports.

The best time to commune with God is during an intuitive maximum period. Our prayers to God have the great power. Intuition is compared with foresight. Spontaneously made decisions will be the right ones. During this period we are full of inspiration.

The duration of biorhythm cycles is different. There are cases when the minimums of the four rhythms coincide. Difficult or "black" days begin. When all maximums coincide, it is a period of a great elation. If we turn to mathematical calculations, we can notice, that one minimum (or maximum) occurs once a week. The total quantity of "black" and lucky days in person's life is the same. So when do these days occur?

Source  :  http://www.caliostro.net/biorhytms_ch3.html

Let us leave for now the little investigated intuitive rhythm and analyze the combination of the other three biorhythms. The periods of their cycles are different, so their exact repetition takes place only every 26 years. But an approximate repetition can be observed in 352 days. Let us analyze different possible combinations.

Three minimums. For a person, who has no idea about biorhythms, such a situation means "black" days or a string of bad luck. Three simultaneous minimums can last one, two, or three days. The worst is when they alternate every other day. In such a case you can't live your normal active life for five days. Nature demands an immediate rest: you may either decrease the intensity of your activity or you may completely relax. It is not worthwhile to make important decisions. It's better to put them off for the better times. During the period of three minimums it is practically impossible to start a new work, to grasp and retain a lucky chance. But in one and a half week a period of three maximums will begin. It has the same rhythmic cycles. Mathematical calculations show that an increase in biorhythms goes up on June, 10th one year and will turn out to be a great decline next year.

Three maximums. This is the time for us to sum up what we have done during a certain period (half a year, for example) or even to consider the events of our whole life. It is the best time for a person to sense all his hidden reserves and to make strategical plans. Later, when the maximums are passing by, such tasks could seem unrealistic, but they can serve as a "lighthouse" in the sea of life. The main idea is that when there are three maximums it is the best time for conception. It is advisable to add to it some positive astrological influences, but that is another subject...

A combination of an intellectual maximum and an emotional minimum. Such a situation is difficult for women, because a split personality can appear. An intellectual maximum gives clearness of thought, and an understanding of certain life phenomena and processes. Good plans are made, but they can't be realized because of a lack of desire and energy.

An emotional maximum and an intellectual minimum. This situation is the opposite of the previous one. It is crucial for men. The emotional maximum prompts one to forceful actions, some friction between partners appears, but the intellectual minimum gives no possibility to perceive the situation objectively, and make the optimal decision, especially in unusual situations.

If we know our biorhythms, we will be able to easily avoid all the critical situations and to choose the best time either for rest or for more forceful actions.

If we carefully study a biorhythms table, we can find three indicators of minimums and three indicators of maximums. There are other types, which we will now look at. The arranged order of biorhythms is intellectual, emotional and physical, respectively.

+++ A person is in good condition. This period demands forceful actions. The greatest mistake is to rest, to be careless and lazy. It is a high time to start a new work and new business acquaintances, to extend your sphere of influence. It is a good time to have a positive influence on people and on different situations. You can prove you are telling the truth and are right without difficulty. It is the most efficient time.

++- This is a good time for conducting negotiations on the phone, that is, regarding work, that demands good effective ideas and quick reactions, but no physical effort. You can analyze problems in the quite of your office. You can go to the cinema, or theatre or you can spend a time with friends or your loved ones. Sex, however, won't give you much pleasure.

+-- It is advisable to analyze the state of your business or things that have been done in the past. You can create something new, but it would take you a lot of efforts to finish what you have already begun. You'd better put aside all important affairs till the next high point. In such a period you can play chess and poker, solve different crosswords, but only with polite and nice people. .

+-+ It is too early to start serious work. There is a lack of desire and inspiration. Don't stimulate your body with alcohol. You can do some mental (some planning) or physical work. Take good care of your wife. .

-++ A great desire to do something, but it is difficult to orient yourself in a new situation. It's better to repair your house with inspiration, when everything is ready and well thought over. Take good care of your husband. Don't make important decisions. .

-+- Your soul aspires to beauty and self-realization. It is impossible to do something serious - your mind and body can't help you. Therefore music, poetry, exhibitions and communication with pleasant people would be most effective. .

--+ Your mind and soul demand a rest, but your body needs activity. You can travel through the country, play football or volleyball. If physical strength allows, you may go for a massage, take a bath or make love with your partner. Be careful while communicating. .

--- "If you do everything wrong - put your hands in pockets!" It is high time to rest from activities and from important decisions. You may do anything, that doesn't demand great effort or willpower. You may clean your flat, visit friends or take a walk. You should avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. .

While observing the fluctuations in the intellectual, emotional, physical and intuitive rhythms, a logical question arises: what is their nature, why do intellectual abilities and emotions constantly change?

The founders of biorhythmic cycles assumed that the biorhythms they investigated are regulated by the endocrine glands. Do biorhythms influence the work of these glands?

Our investigations have shown that the work of two (svadhistana), three (manipura), four (anahata) of a persons magnetic energy centers is synchronized with fluctuations in intellectual, emotional, physical biorhythms, in which their intensity is the greatest at the maximum, and the lowest at a minimum. This testifies to the cosmic stimulators of our feelings. It is interesting that the Sun revolves around its axis every 27 days, what is equal to the period of the emotional cycle.

Evidently, the cosmos influences on our biosphere, which transfers energy to certain glands. So we feel changes in our inner state.

Whatever, no one can argue with the fact that regular periodic changes in our intellect, emotions and physical state take place. Learning of these fluctuations let us harmonize our inner state, relations with other people, with nature and the Universe.

Biorhythmic Influence on Harmony

Is our love so enigmatic and mysterious? While analyzing biorhythmical compatibility, we can get a new point of view on mutual relations and appreciate them in another way. A certain scheme of relations is created, seemingly a range of mutual relations. It is practically impossible to overcome this. There are nine possible combinations of the three biorhythms. Let’s examine them.

1. All three biorhythms are disharmonious.

There is no real family life. The cause of marriage is an outward attractiveness, sex, mental advantage or just habit. Some feelings which appear at the beginning of relations are lost during the course of time. When love is gone, leaving no children or common property, the marriage is destroyed. Otherwise, the married couple is just a financial-material unity. They are energetic vampires, who coexist in one house, tormenting each other and their children.

2. Only physical rhythms are harmonious.

The situation is similar to the previous one. However, physical attraction and sexual satisfaction keeps the family from being destroyed. But not only with the help of sex alone... A spiritual warmth and mutual understanding are also necessary.

3. Only emotional rhythms are harmonious.

We have is something like love, especially from the woman's point of view. A great feeling of love appears from the very first acquaintance. But as a time goes by the man's feeling getting colder. Intimate relations don't give any happiness. Their love is broken. It is a real tragedy for the woman. She can't reconcile herself with it. She is ready to do everything to bring her lover back, and then live at his expense, doing nothing.

4. Emotional and physical biorhythms are harmonious.

The situation is quite complicated. It is better for men to avoid women with such biorhythmic coincidence. Besides a desire to possess you completely there is a physical attraction and sexual satisfaction, which are not achievable with anyone. This confuses men and makes woman's behaviour crueler in her struggle for her happiness.

5. Only intellectual rhythms are harmonious.

It is the third type in reverse. A woman can be attracted by a man's mental abilities or his skills in speaking. But during the course of time, a person gets used to everything and finds nothing that brings warmth to his/her soul. A man begins to fight for his happiness. It means trouble for the woman, who gets married to such a man.

6. Intellectual and physical biorhythms are harmonious.

A physical satisfaction, which is associated with love, is added to the previous type. A man will make a lot of efforts to conquer such a woman.

7. Intellectual and emotional biorhythms are harmonious.

It is Platonic love. Everything is good, except sex. It is the type of a real friendship and cooperation at all the levels. It is a good choice for a secretary, but not for a wife. Young people, whose feelings are developed more than their intimate relations, can fall into such a trap. Sexual relationships in such families are rare or absent at all. It’s better for partners to take a rest from each other or sleep in different rooms.

8. The three biorhythms are harmonious (60-80%).

There is stability, warmth and mutual understanding, which could be even stronger. For people, who are satisfied with their position and have good family, it is more like friendship and cooperation. Maximalists, who are looking for complete harmony, can destroy everything they should save, with their own hands.

9. Three harmonious biorhythms (more than 80%) should unite people in marriage.

Real feelings and proper sex are possible. Such couples might say that others don't understand what real love is: don't speak about feelings and love, just do it! In such families children grow up more intelligent, beautiful and healthy, who live a happy life and are free from problems (if they don't make problems for themselves).

So, we have the characteristics of marriage from the biorhythmic point of view. Maybe, someone thinks that life is more complicated than theories and formulas. But our being can't be more difficult than natural laws. We can't always be united with the one we want, but we can avoid an unpleasant person. The main thing is to give our children all the best we can.

me and masamune :

Intellectual         96%

Emotional         95%

Physical            92%

We have come to the most important topic. Love is considered to be only an enticement for the propagation of the human race, an instrument for the creation of high-quality offspring.

The idea is very simple: a couple of people must have three harmonious biorhythms in order to give their children all the positive qualities, the best possible abilities. The moment of conception must happen in the period of three maximums. Each of biorhythms has its own sphere of influence: the intellectual one, on intellect; the emotional one, on beauty; and the physical one, on health and physical beauty.

So, we can say that the question of how to control heredity is answered. The only thing, which remains, is to put it into practice.

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Why everything you thought you knew about being a good parent is WRONG

Lavish your offspring with praise? Let Dad share the childcare? Teach them not to be bullies? It will all backfire, claims new research...

Your seven-year-old son presents you with yet another drawing of a dinosaur  -  just like the scores he has produced already. Do you show him how to be more careful about colouring between the lines, or tell him that it's your favourite dinosaur drawing of all time, and what a clever, talented boy he is?

A few weeks later, your 14-year-old daughter comes home from school in tears, and admits that she's being bullied by some other girls. They call her names, leave cruel notes in her locker and make a point of ignoring her whenever she speaks.

Do you say that she needs to sort this out herself; or do you hug her tightly and promise her that it will never happen again - and you're going to make sure of it?

parents with baby

If parents constantly tell their children they are 'clever', they will become anxious at the thought of failure, a new book suggests

If you gave the second answer to both questions, you're a typical modern parent: loving, protective, and very involved in your child's life. You are also, according to new research, doing all the wrong things - even if it is for all the right reasons.

'Nurtureshock' is an explosive new book which has already sparked a fierce debate in America by challenging many of our most basic assumptions about children and parenting.

At its heart is one of the most fundamental questions of our time: why, after decades of caring, progressive parenting and education, do we have so many social problems with children and teenagers from all backgrounds?

Based on a massive review of the latest scientific studies, authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman  -  who are established writers on social issues  -  insist that much of what we think of as being good parenting is actually wrong.

They argue that many of our strategies for nurturing our children are backfiring because we haven't properly understood the science of how children think or develop.

This isn't, they say, a stick to beat well-meaning parents with, but an opportunity to change family life for the better.

While they are not advocating a return to Victorian parenting, with children seen and not heard, or beaten when they're naughty, what they do argue is that the touchy-feely brand of modern parenting, where parents are too weak to criticise and discipline, will actually damage our children in the long term.

One of the biggest failures of modern parenting, say the authors, has been our belief in the importance of instilling high self-esteem at all costs. We praise our children constantly and indiscriminately. A simple drawing is 'brilliant'; getting a few ticks on their homework earns a delighted 'you're so clever'.

How star charts create 'praise junkies'

We have 'star charts', where children earn rewards for good behaviour. At sports days, no one is allowed to come first, so other children will be protected from feeling like a failure.

The theory is that this will build confidence and self-esteem in all the children  -  attributes which have been linked to happier, more successful lives and relationships in later life.

But new research from Dr Carol Dweck at Colombia University, who studied groups of children over ten years, indicates that the opposite is true. It suggests we are producing a generation of brats and 'praise junkies' who can't cope with the inevitable set-backs and failures of everyday life.

For example, if we tell a child frequently how clever they are, we may think we are being supportive and encouraging, when what we're really doing is giving them impossibly high expectations to live up to.

'Clever' becomes a label they have to protect if they want to please us. They will become anxious at the thought of failure and will only attempt 'easy' things they know they can succeed at.

But if we praise a child's effort, telling them after a test 'You must have worked really hard here', they are being praised for something they can control  -  the amount of work they do. And that will motivate them to work harder.

'To be effective, praise has to be specific and it has to be genuine, which means it has to be earned.'

When a child gets a low grade or fails at a task, our impulse is to say 'It doesn't matter', so they will know we love them whatever he does. But that's not how they interpret it. They know perfectly well that it does matter, because we get so happy and excited when they do well.

And by pretending it doesn't matter, we don't give them what they really need  -  which is the tools to help them handle disappointment and do better next time.

There is no evidence, say the authors, to show that high self-esteem has any effect on improving academic performance, or reducing anti-social behaviour.

In fact, over-praised children become more unpleasant to others and make poorer team players. Their prime goal becomes a kind of image maintenance, and they will do whatever they can  -  including criticising and dismissing others  -  to make themselves look good.

All this doesn't mean we should never give our children positive feedback. But to be effective, praise has to be specific and it has to be genuine, which means it has to be earned. It also has to be balanced with careful constructive criticism, which is something far too many modern parents can't bring themselves to give.

While parents who can't or won't be tough on their children when it's required come under attack in Nurtureshock, there is also an unpleasant surprise for all those men who think they are doing the right thing in being very hands-on dads.

Over the past two decades, there has been a huge rise in progressive dads - the kind of man who is an active presence in his child's life from birth onwards, who has no truck with traditional gender roles, and who is just as likely to wash and dress their child or to take a day off work when their child is sick.

This has generally been considered an overwhelmingly positive thing, and the kind of 'new' parent that both women and children want.

However, new research from parenting expert Dr Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan shows that while 'co-parenting' has some benefits, it also leads to more arguments over parenting decisions, and to more conflict in the marriage.

Progressive fathers rate their marriages as less happy, and rate their families as not functioning as well as those with traditional fathers where gender roles are more defined, and where the father is the main earner/protector and the mother the main nurturer.

Enlarge   stay at home dad

The research found progressive dads who stay at home with the children are weaker at setting and enforcing family rules

Progressive dads are also weaker at setting and enforcing family rules. They are very clear about ways they don't want to discipline their children (such as hitting or shouting), but confused and inconsistent about what to do instead.

As a result, the children of progressive fathers who are proud to be hands-on are almost as aggressive and badly behaved at school as the children of fathers who are either absent from the home, or play very little part in their children's lives.

One of the other highly contentious subjects the book tackles is the startling rise in levels of bullying in schools in recent years.

The case of Carol Hill, the school dinner lady sacked for telling parents that their daughter was being bullied, and tragic Holly Grogan, the 15-year- old who jumped to her death after being bullied on Facebook, are just two examples from the past week alone that highlight our failure to stop the growth of bullying.

Why has it become such a huge problem? It's because, say the authors of Nurtureshock, we have misunderstood what bullying is, and who bullies are - and our current strategies for dealing with it are making things worse.

Bullying is just 'social dominance'

Bullies, we believe, are Bad Kids, the product of poor parenting or of some personality problem. The research here tells a different and more complicated story.

While some bullies are just thugs, most bullying is done by children who are popular and successful.

Most of what we call bullying behaviour - meanness, aggression, exclusion from groups or activities  -  is, in fact, the normal struggle for acceptance, popularity and 'social dominance'.

The children who best succeed are those who can call on a wide range of whatever-it-takes social skills and manipulation

Research by Dr Linda Caldwell and Dr Nancy Darling at Penn State University shows that a whopping 96 per cent of teenagers lie about practically everything: what they spend their money on, whether they've started dating, what they wear once they leave the house, what they're doing in the evening and with whom.

They lie mostly about sex, alcohol and drug use, but also about whether they've done their homework  -  even about what music they're listening to.

'If your teenager argues with you, thank your lucky stars. It's their way of being honest and open.'

This isn't as bad as it sounds. Lying is so normal for teenagers that you might be more worried about the four per cent who don't lie.

But they don't do it just to stay out of trouble. They also lie to protect their relationship with their parents, to save us from feeling hurt, worried or disappointed - and to get some healthy emotional distance from their parents.

So if your teenager argues with you, thank your lucky stars. It's their way of being honest and open with you about what is really going on in their life. It is a sign of respect.

Look at it this way: your rule is no drinking. If they are going to drink anyway, they'll just do it and lie about it. But if they are arguing with you about whether they should be allowed to drink, they're telling you truthfully what they plan to do, and thinking you will at least listen to their point of view.

They're not arguing with your right to make rules - they actually want you to do that - but negotiating about what the rules should be.

Research shows that teens who have moderate conflict with their parents enjoy better relationships with them generally, tell fewer lies, and are better adjusted.

Many of the findings in Nurtureshock are not what we parents expect or want to hear, but we have to hear it. The authors, one of whom admits to being a softlysoftly parent, and who says they have made all the same mistakes, believe we have, quite simply, become scared of our children.

We need to take back our authority, stop being friends with our children, and re-think everything we thought we knew about what's best for them, and for society in general.

Read more : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215937/Why-thought-knew-good-parent-WRONG.html#ixzz0SHP944KM

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Nasal spray can beat migraine pain in 30 minutes with relief lasting up to two days

A new fast-acting drug that is inhaled could tackle migraine pain within 30 minutes.

As well as acting quickly, the drug - Levadex - provides relief for up to two days, compared to just a few hours for some drugs.

Results from clinical trials suggest that the new medicine can ease the agony of a migraine faster than existing treatments and with fewer side-effects.

The rapid relief is due to a unique inhaler device, similar in appearance to those used to treat asthma, which propels tiny particles of medicine deep into the lungs.

Once inside the airways, the particles are quickly absorbed into the bloodstream before travelling to the brain to dampen down pain signals.

One in four women and one in 12 men in the UK suffer from frequent migraines. They are thought to be caused by changes in levels of a brain chemical called serotonin.

Low levels of serotonin can make blood vessels in the brain go into spasm, which makes them narrower.

Doctors think this is what causes so-called 'aura', a term used to describe disturbing symptoms such as flashing lights, zigzag patterns and blind spots which can often occur during a migraine.

Meanwhile, the extreme headache occurs when the blood vessels dilate, allowing the blood to rush back.

There are many potential triggers for migraine. For women, these include hormonal changes around the time of their period. Other triggers are stress, tiredness and even strong smells.

Some sufferers experience several attacks a week, but others can go for months or years between migraines.

Lying in a darkened room during an attack often helps soothe the pain.

Treatment often begins with over-the-counter painkillers, such as aspirin or paracetamol.

DO THIS: Eat fried eggs. Canadian scientists have found that frying releases more ACE inhibitors - compounds which dilate the blood vessels and lower blood pressure, reducing the risk of heart attack. It's thought the intense heat is the key  -  just go easy on the oil.

But in recent years, a new class of drugs has emerged. Called triptans, these are taken as pills, nasal sprays or injections and work by reducing the dilation of blood vessels in the brain.

But triptans only work in about 70 per cent of patients and, even when they do, can take up to 90 minutes to have an effect.

The drugs can also increase blood pressure and trigger nausea. Patients with heart disease, or who have suffered a stroke, cannot take them.

The new drug, developed by U.S. firm MAP Pharmaceuticals, is in the final stages of clinical trials and could be available within the next two years.

The drug is administered through a special inhaler device that fires tiny molecules of it into the body.

These so-called metered-dose inhalers have been used for years in asthma. They work by squirting the drug into the mouth at speeds of up to 50mph.

But many asthma sufferers fail to respond because drug particles become lodged in the back of the throat rather than penetrating the lungs.

The migraine device gets round this by propelling a slow-moving 'cloud' of Levadex particles into the airways that get drawn into the body when the patient breathes in.

Tests show the new inhaler delivers three times as much drug into the lungs as existing ones.

Findings presented at a recent meeting of the International Headache Society in California showed Levadex eased headache pain in around 30 minutes for most patients and provided relief for up to 48 hours for one in three of them.

Lee Tomkins, director of Migraine Action, said the new drug could make a big difference to patients.

'It may offer an exciting new way to deal with this debilitating condition. A new treatment which deals with symptoms quickly and has few side-effects would have a big impact.'

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Bad breath?

It could all be due to a nasty case of tonsil stones

Bad breath, or halitosis, is one of the great unmentionables, despite the fact it affects a huge number of people - as many as seven million Britons - who spend more than £150 million each year on mouthwash alone trying to get rid of it.

The problem is often linked to smoking and not brushing your teeth properly - this causes the bacteria in the mouth linked to bad breath to flourish.

But for many people, no amount of brushing or sweet-smelling products seems to make a difference. That's because their problem is triggered by a little known but surprisingly common condition - tonsil stones. We tend to associate stones with the kidneys or gall bladder, but it seems stones can also form on our tonsils, where they appear as small white spots.

Experts say tonsil stones are little understood by many doctors - indeed patients are often told there's nothing wrong with them or that what they see on their tonsils is simply the remains of last night's dinner. In fact, the problem affects thousands of people - it's particularly common in those who've suffered from tonsillitis or who have a dry mouth as a result of medication such as painkillers.

The tonsils are sacs of lymphatic tissue on either side of the throat. They are part of the body's immune system and contain lymphocytes - cells that prevent and fight infections. The tonsils are meant to function like nets, trapping incoming bacteria and virus particles passing through your throat and preventing them travelling through the body.

Their location makes them the front line of defence against infections of the throat and upper airways. However, it also means they become a potential trap for food particles. Tonsil stones, or tonsilloliths, as they are also known, are actually lumps of calcified food, mucus and bacteria, explains Anastasia Rachmanidou, a consultant ear, nose and throat surgeon at University Hospital Lewisham, South-East London.

'Once bits of debris get trapped, they attract bacteria, harden and start to decay, which is why sufferers can have bad breath,' she says.

They can also suffer from a bad 'metallic' taste in the mouth. Adults are more at risk simply because they have bigger tonsils; the tonsils have a naturally pitted surface like the moon and, as we grow, these pits or crypts also get bigger, making them more likely to harbour food.

Anyone who's had tonsillitis is also at risk, as the illness can scar the tonsil. Taking certain prescription medicines, such as high blood pressure tablets, painkillers and antidepressants, can also cause the problem, as a side-effect is dry mouth - if you don't have enough saliva to wash food and bacteria away, this can trigger tonsil stones or exacerbate them.

Though many clinicians are unfamiliar with tonsil stones, the problem is widespread. French researchers found that in a sample of 515 scans, 31 people - about 6 per cent - had calcified matter in their tonsils.

Drink plenty of water to flush out hidden bacteria

A Brazilian study found tonsilloliths were present in 75 per cent of tonsillitis patients who had bad breath and in only 6 per cent with normal breath. Some experts say the numbers affected could rise. 'They are already not uncommon and it's possible we will see even more of them as we no longer take out tonsils as much as we used to,' explains Mr Gerald Brookes, a consultant at the London Clinic and the Royal National Throat, Mouth and Ear Hospital.

The difficulty, he says, is that the condition is often missed because the small white spots on the tonsils are also characteristic of a throat infection. 'It is very common for patients who see this small white bead to think this, especially if the stone gives them a little localised soreness around the throat.'

However, some won't suffer any soreness - instead, they might notice it as a maddening feeling that something is stuck at the back of their throat. Tonsil stones can cause a variety of symptoms and will not always be visible to the naked eye (if hidden in the folds of the tonsils, they might be detectable only with a CT or MRI scan).

Depending on the location or size of the tonsil stone, it may also be difficult or painful to swallow foods or liquids. And because of shared nerve networks, the patient may feel referred pain in their ear, even though the stone itself is not touching the ear. So, occasionally, someone with tonsil stones, says Mr Brookes.

Often the stones, which tend to be between two to five millimetres in size, spontaneously come off, says dentist Dr Phil Stemmer, from the Teeth For Life clinic. 'They can just get swallowed or can be spat out.' If you have particularly craggy tonsils, it is possible to smooth the nooks that trap food in the tonsils, adds Ms Rachmanidou.

Doing this requires a laser, a procedure known as laser resurfacing, to take off the top layer of tissue. In this way, the edges of the pits are flattened out, so they can no longer trap any material. Without surgery, there is very little else to prevent the problem if you have craggy tonsils. However, good oral hygiene, brushing your teeth, flossing and using a non-alcoholic mouthwash twice-a-day will help to flush the food away.

Also, it might be possible to remove tonsil stones by flushing them out with warm salt water. This can be done by emptying a nasal spray bottle and filling it with warm water and half a teaspoon of salt to spray onto the tonsils.

Or you can buy an oral irrigation device such as the Waterpik Ultra Cordless Water Jet WP450 (£34.99, available at www.chemist direct.co.uk).

'Pushing the tongue out hard and so pushing the muscles at the side of the throat may also help dislodge the stones, too,' adds Mr Brookes.

Drinking plenty of water is also important, as this keeps the saliva moving throughout the oral cavity and flushes out hidden bacteria. Even chewing on a dry cracker every day may also help rub away the tonsil stones. A more drastic option is to have the tonsils removed.

However, dentist Phil Stemmer says this is not something he would routinely recommend.

'Apart from the fact that a tonsillectomy is an operation under general anaesthetic, the tonsils are very important to prevent infection. And like any operation, there can be complications, such as bleeding.'

But it's vital to get any white spots on your tonsils checked out by your GP, insists Ms Rachmanidou.

'Though very rare, a lesion, spot or white patch can be a sign of cancer, so your GP will want to refer you to a specialist just to be sure,' she says.

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